"It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other's character traits" says Susanne Alexander, a relationship coach and author of Can We Dance? "Some couples then slide into engagement and marriage only to discover they have missed seeing major aspects of each other." While not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship, couples do owe it to themselves to talk about where they see their relationship going and how sex might change the relationship -- before they get in bed together. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way," Allen tells Web MD.Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say."My advice is this: wait as long as you can," Allen says.Her rationale for these dating rules may seem obvious, but many people tend to forget in the heat of the moment.
That being said, you are a multidimensional person who might take more pride in other facets of your life (like having killer brows, being a total whiz at math or having amazing cooking skills). Like other facets of sexuality, asexuality is not black or white.But if being asexual, or "ace" as some people in the community call it, is something that you identify with, then there's nothing to be ashamed of. Some people who define themselves as somewhere in between asexual and sexual consider themselves to be "gray, graysexual, gray-asexual, or gray-a," according to AVEN.You might use one of these labels to describe yourself if you have felt sexual attraction in the past, but it's just not often.Again, it completely depends on the person, but some asexual people do have sex for many different reasons and AVEN says that some do enjoy it.They might choose to engage in sexual activities for the pleasure of their partner, to conceive a child, or simply because they want to know what it's like.
There are tons of people to talk to about asexuality, both experts on the topic, and those who have experience with it themselves.