When I’m not looking for love I’m exhausted on my couch after work, binging on Netflix, curled up in bed reading a book, or still at work. When I go out I’m with friends who have grown to be like family, talking over cozy dinners, not falling over casual acquaintances ready to pick each other up at the first sign of a smile, like the parties I frequented in my twenties.Women in their thirties, especially the busy ones, have to make an effort.Like starting an exercise routine in the new year, it takes resolution. I often imagine if men were in this position, faced with losing their ability to procreate. But my 35-year-old self understands that, while the connection really is special, chances are it will end in disaster. To find that person and also have all the practicalities of starting a life together — their age, location, desire for children — match up just right so it can all come together in a few short years, is miracle-making. The alternative to the potential disaster of romance is the inevitable disappointment of reality.There’s no question they’d have both an agenda and a timeline. The question floats around the table: At what point do we sacrifice romance for fertility? It may be another year, or more, until I find another person I like enough to see regularly.My girlfriends and I have been enduring bad dates for years.At one point we coordinated a weekly meeting to review a Google spreadsheet of our collective dates so none of us had to make the same mistake twice.The problem with anything that takes effort, though, is that it gets tiring.
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