Anxiety dating after divorce
After years of being in a relationship, jumping back into the dating world can feel daunting, overwhelming and exciting all at the same time.
It is not uncommon for people to get caught up in their partner’s world, interests, and activities, eventually losing sight of what activities brought you joy.Reframe the word “dating” by replacing it with “being social.” It takes the anxiety and pressure off. According to a recent study by the Music Industry...“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson I’ve been pondering this question for a while now, as this topic comes up often with my clients who struggle...You have been through hell, a war, an awakening, and nirvana all at once. And now you’ve made it to the profoundly and sometimes disturbingly fascinating land of dating after divorce. If something feels like it is crossing the boundary of your needs, honor the f*ck out of that! Take all the time you need to emote, care for yourself, and grieve. Maybe you feel the urge to please in hopes to get the love that you want. Do you want to isolate and retreat because shame envelops you?We have our sh*t together, given the badassery required to come out on the other side of divorce. Perhaps you miss them, or compare new people to them, or feel a strong aversion to them as you meet others who feel like a much more appropriate fit. Chances are, all of these reactions are your old baggage coming to visit you. You will have advice coming at you from all directions. I’ve been divorced for 7 years and on and off, trying to date again. You may even find yourself wishing for your old life as you venture into a significant discomfort zone. They say that we subconsciously seek out people to act out old emotional wounds with so they can show us what we need to heal. Regardless of what you hear from the outside, know yourself best! Not completely giving up on this but also not trying all that hard.
What are your fears about dating again after divorce or a breakup?